Pavarotti's Postal Service
by Stripysockz
Summary: Kurt starts sending the Glee club cheery little messages - via Pavarotti. Then there was crack. And some chaos! Slight spoilers through ep 2x09.


Pavarotti's Postal Service

Summary: Kurt starts sending the Glee club cheery little messages - via Pavarotti. Then there was crack. And some chaos! Based on a prompt at the Glee fluff meme.

* * *

Lauren Zizes was not in a good mood. The thrill of being in Glee club had worn off as soon as Puck stopped calling her his angel, and she _really_ hated World History, her next lesson. However, she stopped short when she walked into the classroom, seeing a small envelope on her desk, her name printed neatly on the front.

Curious, she ripped it open, and pulled out a tiny square of paper. Written on it was a single sentence: "You did so well - thank you for being there for them when I couldn't be. -Kurt"

Lauren sat down, puzzled. Why would Kurt have come all the way back to McKinley just to leave her a note? Karofsky and Azimio were still ruling the halls; she doubted that he would have risked it. However, the next moment, her musings were interrupted, as she let out a mighty sneeze.

"ATTCHUUUU!" Blinking furiously, she reached for a tissue, wondering what had triggered the sneeze - she wasn't taking the flu again, surely - before a tiny yellow bird fluttered past her head and out the door.

Ahh, that explained it. She was allergic to birds (and most other animals).

* * *

Finn sat on his bed, completely puzzled. On the desk beside his bed sat a bird. A very small bird, at that. '_Well, Kurt's a pretty tiny dude,_' his subconscious told him helpfully. '_It makes sense for him to be a mini bird._'

In front of the bird lay a letter. It was obviously from Kurt - Kurt had _signed_ it - but when he'd opened the door to his room earlier, it had been the bird he'd found there, waiting to give him the letter. Not Kurt.

He had taken the letter, obviously, and read it. He was about to get changed, but then he realised that there really was something a bit odd about having a bird in his room while he undressed. The bird hadn't left - it remained perched on top of his desk, watching him curiously, as if waiting for some sort of response to the letter. Wondering if it wanted the letter back, Finn set the letter down beside the bird.

The bird began reading the letter.

At least, he assumed that was what it was doing - it was staring at it, so it had to be reading it, right? - and then all of a sudden, he began wondering why on earth the bird was delivering his mail. Why hadn't Kurt just given him the letter?

Unless he _had_. Finn could only just imagine what Burt would say if he found out that his son had been turned into a bird! He'd probably blame Finn, and then find a way of turning him into a bird - or else he'd just get his shotgun. Either way, Finn decided he needed to find a way of changing Kurt back into himself.

"Hey - Kurt?" he said tentatively. The bird looked up at him, and tilted its head as if in question. Finn figured this meant it was definitely Kurt, and wondered why he hadn't mentioned in the letter that he'd been turned into a bird. "Is that you?" he asked, just to be sure.

The response was immediate. The bird gave him a disdainful look, ruffled its feathers slightly, then hopped up and flew out the window before Finn had even realised it had moved.

"No!" he shouted, jumping up and running to the window. He could see the tiny little bird fluttering away. "Come back!" he yelled, not liking the idea of telling Burt that not only had his son grown wings, but he'd also flown away. He definitely didn't fancy his chances of making it out of that conversation alive.

* * *

Artie was getting changed in the corner of the locker room, when he noticed a tiny bundle of feathers hovering just above his head. He blinked, wondering if he was hallucinating - nope, there was definitely a canary in midair beside him. Carrying an envelope. With his name on it.

Completely perplexed, Artie reached out a hand to take the little envelope, but the bird flew forward a few metres, just out of reach. Frowning, he moved his wheelchair towards it, but it flew to the other side of the locker room and perched on the windowsill. It stayed there, completely motionless, until Artie had manoeuvred his way rather skilfully past all the benches to that side of the room, then just as he was stretching out his arm again... it flew back to the other side of the room.

Artie scowled. This. Meant. WAR.

About fifteen minutes later, the door banged open, and Karofsky stormed in, looking slightly angrier than usual. The bird - smart little critter - squeaked in fright from where it was hovering, several inches higher than Artie could reach, dropped the envelope into his lap, and zoomed straight over Karofsky's head, out the door before it could shut.

Karofsky blinked. "What the hell?" he asked, voice completely devoid of venom - he just looked bewildered. Apparently the canary had confused the anger out of him.

Artie shrugged. "No idea," he replied, turning away from Karofsky and retreating back to his corner. Opening the envelope, he found a square of paper, upon which was written, "I find myself really missing our random chats; would you like to meet up and go to the cinema? I know you really want to see Harry Potter. Well, let me know. -Kurt"

Artie grinned, when a voice came from behind him. "So... can you like, control birds or something?" asked Karofsky, who still looked completely bamboozled. Stifling a laugh at the ridiculous question, Artie turned to face him, only to find Karofsky closer than he'd anticipated, looming over him menacingly. He whipped the note out of Artie's hand.

"What do we have here? You -" he paused, and his face screwed up. He shoved the note back at Artie. "What, so it's your damn fairy who knows how to control birds?" he sneered. "You his boyfriend or something?"

Artie felt his anger rising, but Karofsky paused again, and - was that fear in his eyes? "Wait," he said, "does - does Ladyface have magic powers, then?"

Silence. Karofsky honestly looked like he was waiting for an answer, but Artie was fairly sure that if he opened his mouth, he'd start laughing and wouldn't be able to stop at the sheer insanity of the whole situation. And then he'd get thrown in the dumpster.

Giving up, Karofsky stormed back over to his own locker, while Artie took out his phone to tell Kurt that yes, he'd _definitely_ be going to Harry Potter.

* * *

Sam hurried over to his locker after the final bell, and fumbled with the lock. He was in a hurry to meet up with Quinn, but all thoughts of the (other) blonde disappeared when he got his locker open.

And a canary flew out.

He stared down the hall after it for a moment, before poking his head into his locker, checking for holes through which the bird might have got in. Seeing nothing, he pulled his head back out - and then noticed a white envelope lying innocently on top of his algebra textbook.

Opening it, he found a short note addressed to him. It read, "I have the hair dye you asked me to buy, and I'll send it to you ASAP." He stared at it, then looked into his locker again, expecting something else to have appeared in it - hopefully something cool, like a new phone or a lizard. He'd always liked lizards. Seeing nothing, he stuck his head in again - maybe the lizard was hiding behind his books - when he heard his name.

"Sam, hurry up!" Quinn called from behind him. After banging his head and dumping his books, he pocketed the note quickly and followed her, soon forgetting about the mysterious canary.

He still wanted a lizard, though.

* * *

"I'm telling you Tina, this place isn't really Asian," hissed Mike. Tina took a deep breath, resisting the urge to strangle him.

"We are in an Indian restaurant," she replied, emphasising every word. "India is in Asia. That makes it an Asian restaurant. Okay?"

Mike looked around suspiciously for a few seconds, before replying, "It's not a REAL Asian restaurant, though. It's like, a fake kind of Asian." He shifted nervously in his seat. "I don't know, I just feel kind of out of place here. Like I'm not safe, or something."

The argument was interrupted when the waiter came with their order. Just as he was setting it down, a tiny bird flew into the restaurant and over to them, dropped two small envelopes into the curry that the waiter had just set down, chirruped happily, and fluttered away again.

The waiter smiled at them, and left. Tina and Mike stared at each other for a moment, before Tina reached out to take the envelope with her name on it. However, Mike stopped her.

"Don't!" he cried, grabbing her wrist and holding it away from the curry. "If you touch that goop, who knows what could happen! It looks acidic."

Tina had absolutely no response to that.

* * *

Something was tickling him. Or someone was nibbling him. Maybe it was Santana, she was into kinky stuff like that. Though her teeth weren't that sharp...

Puck cracked one eye open, and jumped so violently that he fell out of bed, tangled up in the sheets. There was a yellow blob nestled beside his neck, and it had the nerve to POKE HIM. In his SLEEP.

He flailed about, trying to free himself and take revenge on whatever it was that had woken him, and eventually escaped from the tangle of blankets. He looked about, trying to see the monster that had disturbed him (_What if it's poisonous?_ asked a frightened little voice in the back of his head), but it seemed to have disappeared.

Then something landed on his head.

He jumped violently, sprawling backwards on top of the duvet, and heard a noise that sounded like the one Rachel made when she was offended from the general area above his head. Seeing the blob floating there, he swatted angrily at it, before his eyes focused and he realised that it was... a canary.

It made some angry-sounding bird sounds at him (and he was getting a bit freaked out at how alike it was to the way Berry would tell him off sometimes), before fluttering over to his table, pecking at something sitting on it, and then flying out the window.

Puck blinked. Getting up, he saw that it was a small note sitting on the table, addressed to him. It said, "I heard about the mall incident - normally I don't condone crime, but that story made me laugh more than I have in weeks! The Dalton boys couldn't believe that I was friends with such a notorious criminal, when I told them. Also, I'm glad to see I've taught you something, given that I doubt it was Finn who taught you how to talk your way out of a bad situation. -Kurt"

After reading it, Puck set it back on the table, and wandered over to the window, stretching. Then he paused - the canary was sitting on the tree outside the window. Or at least it had been. When it saw him, it let out what could only be called an angry screech (should a bird that small be _able_ to make a sound that loud?), and took off.

He was pretty glad he hadn't actually hit it by accident. Who knows how angry it would have been if he'd hurt it? It probably would've pecked his face off.

Besides, it was a cute little thing. He'd have felt bad for hurting it.

* * *

Brittany was wandering down the corridor to Glee, when she felt a soft weight land on her shoulder. Looking down, she saw a tiny bird perched there, holding out a note in its beak for her to take.

She took it, being sure to thank the bird. It inclined its head, before settling itself on her shoulder - apparently it was comfortable there. She didn't even bother trying to read the note, though - Santana could read it for her later. Instead, she began talking to the bird.

Rounding the corner into the choir room, she was listening to the chirps of the canary - she had just asked it how it dealt with cats, and now she was starting to think that Santana would get on well with this bird, because it was fierce like her. However, when she walked into the room, everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at her.

"KURT?" shouted Finn, springing to his feet and pointing at the bird. Artie glared at it, which was odd. Puck smiled at it, which was odder. The canary chirped angrily at him, which didn't surprise Brittany - it didn't seem like the type of bird who would put up with Puck. Tina and Mike looked blank, Lauren scrunched her nose up, and Sam, after a moment of staring, muttered "Woah, déjà vu."

Quinn and Mercedes didn't seem to know what was going on, and Santana wasn't there yet - which was a shame, because Brittany wanted to know what the note said. Then Rachel got to her feet, and said incredulously, "Pavarotti?"

Then there was chaos. Just like any other Glee rehearsal, but with more feathers.

When they'd all calmed down, and everyone had convinced Finn that Kurt had NOT turned into a bird, Rachel explained, "This is Pavarotti. Kurt's been looking after him, and we've been using him, along with my own canary, Star, to send messages back and forth. I guess he decided to send messages to all of you, as well."

"So, it's like owl post except with canaries, right?" asked Brittany. She smiled serenely. "I knew his school was just like the American Hogwarts!"

* * *

The next day, Santana was reapplying her lipgloss in the girls' bathroom, when a canary fluttered down to sit on the side of the sink beside her. It was carrying a little envelope in its beak. She froze. The canary set down the envelope, tilted its head to the side, and chirped at her happily.

An hour later, Brittany found Santana curled up in the corner of the bathroom, trying to get as far away from the little bird as she could. Unfortunately, the bird was intent on completing its mission, and was nudging the envelope towards her, chirruping concernedly. Santana whimpered.

Eventually, Brittany was able to convince her that the bird was totally not scary and was from Kurt in his magical new school and just wanted to make friends with her and could totally help her beat up Puck someday if she needed to. On hearing that, Santana decided that she quite liked this bird. Even if it was creepy and scary and could probably beat her up just as easily as it could beat Puck up.

* * *

Quinn held her pose on top of the pyramid determinedly, smiling as brightly as she could. Coach Sylvester would spot the slightest fumble, she couldn't make any slips...

But that was hard when that bloody songbird was lazily circling her head, occasionally twittering in her ear, and then suddenly flitting right across her line of vision. She gritted her teeth. She would not be moved, she would not be moved, she would not be moved...

Suddenly, Sue seemed to notice the pest, and raised her bullhorn, looking straight at Quinn. She braced herself for the criticism she knew was coming, and was shocked when she heard, "Pavarotti, this is cheerleading practice, not a mailbox! You can deliver that letter after practice, but until then go back to your nest in William Schuester's hair and stop distracting my Cheerios!"

Quinn could have sworn the bird saluted the coach before disappearing into thin air.

The Cheerios were standing on the pitch afterwards, listening to Sue ranting. The second she yelled "Practice is over!", a speck of yellow became visible in the sky. Pavarotti proceeded to divebomb Quinn, then fly almost straight up again, dropping the envelope on her head from about twenty metres up.

Sue looked thoughtful. "Maybe I should see about training some of those for the Nationals routine," she muttered.

Quinn opened the envelope. Inside was a slip of paper that simply said, "Courage. I know Coach Sylvester's been giving you a hard time lately, but it'll get better. Trust me. -Kurt" Quinn couldn't stop the small smile that crept onto her lips - that was just what she needed to hear.

(Later, Quinn was walking past Sue's office, when she noticed a piece of paper on the desk, with just the words "Thank you" inscribed on it. Beside it was a tiny yellow feather.)

* * *

Mercedes had to admit that she was feeling left out - by now, she'd realised that she was the only one who hadn't got a note from Pavarotti. Sure, she and Kurt maybe weren't as close as they once were, but they were still best friends - right?

At any rate, she missed her boy. She needed to see him - though now that she was here, she was seriously having second thoughts about sneaking into the Academy to visit him. For one thing, she was a girl - she'd stick out like a sore thumb! She hadn't even bothered to try and find a disguise because of that, and on top of everything, she had no idea where to find Kurt.

As if sensing her distress, Pavarotti appeared on top of the fence she was crouching behind, and cocked its head down at her. It made a soft little chirrup that sounded suspiciously like a laugh.

"Oh, shut up," Mercedes muttered darkly. "I know I look ridiculous sneaking around like this."

Pavarotti just chirped again, and flew a few metres towards the gate, before perching on the fence again and looking back at her. Mercedes raised an eyebrow. "Alright then, crazy budgie," she said, getting up and walking towards it. The canary cheeped merrily, and flew towards the school, Mercedes following warily.

As it turned out, this was a very good idea - by luck, coincidence or magic, Pavarotti led her through unpopulated hallways and back corridors, so that they didn't meet a single soul - until they got to the dormitories, where Kurt was sitting by himself at a small table, writing furiously.

Mercedes cleared her throat, and his head whipped round, face immediately breaking into a grin. "'Cedes! I was just -" he gestured to the page, and she was surprised to see her own name at the top.

"Is that a letter for me?" she asked. Kurt looked abashed.

"Yeah... I had meant to write to you sooner, but there was so much I wanted to say - I didn't know how to squeeze it all in. It was easier to write to the others first, when it didn't matter as much."

She gave him a fierce look. "Are you still my boy?" she asked, and he nodded, smiling. "Then tell me! What you been up to?"

Almost an hour later, Blaine came to find Kurt - he had missed dinner, and no one had heard from him in a while. He found the two of them gossiping away, with Pavarotti preening beside them, and shook his head, laughing softly.

"Aren't you hungry?" he asked, startling them both. When they paused, realising that they were, in fact, starving, he continued, "Come on. We should go out for dinner - to celebrate all of us getting through to Regionals." He looked at Mercedes. "I know you didn't really enjoy last time, so I promise - this time, we talk about things we're all interested in." When she nodded hesitantly, he grinned. "Come on! I'll drive."

Later, when David was searching through the dorms for Blaine and Kurt, who had missed Warblers practice, he was greeted only by Pavarotti suddenly flying towards him, chirruping happily, and dropping a note at his feet. He bent to pick it up.

"Be back later. Could you feed the canary while we're gone? -Kurt and Blaine"

-END-

* * *

A/N - Crosspost from my LJ. Reviews are much appreciated! x


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